Me, Harper and the Blue Sky

As I awoke this morning, I was greeted by a sky that had lowered slightly since the previous morning. The sooty atmosphere threatened to choke my senses before I could get to my espresso. In my inexplicable delirious state, I stumbled and clamored to the newspaper. There it was - a picture of Stephen Harper as a marionette being manipulated by George W. Bush!

The tanks were rolling in, a protective glass bubble sealed my area and little gnomes were giddily and fiendishly hopping down my street waving black flags with skulls and screaming "Beaver alienation is real!" Suddenly, my doorbell rings. A stunning woman with a lizard's tongue is holding a clipboard. She avoids eye contact and curtly blurts out with a deep autocratic voice; "We are rationing peanut butter. Sign." Nervously, I jot down my John Hancock. As I turned to close the door she added, "Oh, and if you are gay, watch out. We do not like happy people."

On a slightly more serious note, this is sadly how I distort my perception to entertain myself. Nonetheless, judging by some commentators and columnists in the media during the last election campaign, this is what was supposed to happen if Stephen Harper and the Conservatives dared to get themselves elected to power. Dared they did and poof! I got my first complimentary set of conservative vampire teeth in the mail!

Am I the only one who gets the feeling that North America is in need of a massive political realignment? Ever notice how distorted a bike's rim gets after hitting one of Montreal's famous potholes? That's contemporary North American politics; unusable, crooked and warped.

Leaders (especially in Quebec) claim to have the inside track on the'will of the people.' The problem is that I just placed a loonie in the 'will-o-meter' at Tim Horton's and got no response. Plato's philosopher king concept is in a coma for now.

One would have to wonder if the 'find your niche' mantra in business will ever apply to politics. Will North American politics ever become a niche human activity too?

They say we have choice in Canada. Assuming you consider the NDP a real choice. My sources tell me that they are about to change their motto to "Always the usherette but never the bridesmaid."

The NDP are like the Dr.Pepper of Canadian politics. Always trailing in market share to Coke or Pepsi.

Socrates once said to the effect that "there are no wrong opinions but some are closer to the truth."

If so, the Conservatives are closer to the truth and reality than anybody else. The Liberals still don't get it - you know, like the Democrats.

I have no idea how the Conservatives will perform. With a political landscape more fractured - heck, a fragmented cultural post modern landscape for that matter - then it has ever been, navigating through it with a minority government will test their skill and mettle.

Ah, but Harper apparently has that 'hidden agenda'. No one has ever actually seen this agenda but I hear it can found at Staples.

Mid-tier pondering notwithstanding (Canada's favorite anti-democratic word), is anyone paying close attention to what is going on? There is a growing list of young people who are responding to what Stephen Harper is saying.

Simple lost words and concepts like accountability and responsibility suddenly have been resuscitated like. Modern sophistry run amok is not resonating that much anymore.

Over the last ten years the Liberals ran Canada like a supply store making sure all the credits and debits balanced. No new products were introduced even when customers asked for them, lest they go into debt. What's more, they confused their clients when they brought in products they didn't really need or want.

Ironically, while they avoided bankruptcy financially, they became insolvent in many other areas of governance.

To be perfectly honest, I have grown tiresome of the cheesy clichés about imported ideals and notions of self-righteousness that Canadians have grown accustomed to.

The reality is that many thoughtful Canadians wonder if Canada will ever grow up. Will Canada ever be that scrappy middle power that punched above its weight ever again? Mediocrity always suited Canada just fine.

More interestingly, what will this or the next generations of Canadians expect of their political leaders? I have seen the future and they don't seem to care much. Indeed, some seem to have taken a different exit all together as they trail blaze through a murky post-boomer existence.

We want real debate and not of the CBC variety. Chop, chop.

Everyone has his or her own way of interpreting life. Me? I use a thin veil of thick imaginings to make sense of it all. It helps to put Harper's mandate all into hysterical perspective. Guess what? The sky remains blue.